A Pot of Honey
by Evin Rilistot
Summary: AU, Humanstuck. The life of Sollux Captor- written through a series of one-shots, letters, and different perspectives, beginning with his end.  Rated "M" for triggers, strong language, and mild adult content in future chapters.
1. Age: 22

**Author's note:** **This is going to be a very long fic.** It's going to revolve around the life of Sollux Captor, and all the events that led up to this first chapter. It's going to be made up of a series of interconnected one-shots, each chapter jumping around in the timeline of his life.

**_Warning: This chapter contains character suicide and mentions self-injury. Read at your own discretion_**

_Everything belongs to Andrew Hussie, of course._

_Please don't kill me; it's my first time writing fanfiction._

_Also, not all author notes will be this long._

_Reviews are very much appreciated~** Evin R.** _

Age: 22

Total darkness at first, then keys rattling. A door unlocked and opened, and was slammed closed. A tall figure strode inside, clutching a tiny bottle in his left hand. The bottle rattled slightly as he walked over to the window and pulled the shades closed. Turning off the light of his room, he switched on a smaller bedside table flashlight instead. Silly to do that, though, when he knew what was coming up anyways.

Sollux plopped down on his bed, reaching out for his iPod that was resting on the pillow. Placing the headphones in his ears, he turned the music up as loud as it would go and lay down. Rolling over to face the ceiling, he stared at it with a blank expression. If one was to come into the room right now, they would be able to hear the music blasting from his earphones. Shit. Sollux sat up quickly and got off the bed, walking to the door with the keys in his hand. Placing it into the keyhole, he turned the key and lowered the music volume so he could listen to the click of the door lock. Sollux left the key in the lock- it ensured that no one would get in for now without help. Not even Karkat. Satisfied for the time being, he turned around and sat back down on the bed.

Turning "Caraphernelia" back up to max volume, Sollux opened the bottle he had been keeping a death grip on. Hands shaking, he poured the contents into his right palm, fingers closing on top over them, feeling the smoothness of the little pills. Sleeping pills. A bottle full, just acquired from the drugstore not even 15 minutes ago. Sollux clutched them close to him, and pulled his knees up into his chest, rocking back and forth on the small dorm room bed. He was afraid.

Afraid to admit to anyone what he was about to do. Afraid to call for help from his friends. But wait- they had told him he didn't have any. Those girls- no, that girl- told him that everyone hated him. Wanted him dead.

Before he noticed it himself, Sollux was silently crying, tears running down his face and fogging up his glasses. He had had enough of everyone. Enough of their shit. He just wanted out. These pills would help. Gamzee was a pro- he knew everything about drugs. Sollux wouldn't have imagined that he would one day be begging from Gamzee, but that's the way things turned out, and now here he was, in an isolated and empty college dorm room, sitting on the bed, holding sleeping drugs.

What a fucked-up life he led.

Taking a deep shuddering breath, Sollux slowly opened his trembling palm. They were still there. Little blue pills- barely do anything when taken alone, but together, and you're set to go.

Sollux peered down at his wrist- the bandages were coming loose, and one could see the slashes situated there, bright red and throbbing, blood crusted on. He unraveled the bandage with his free hand and let it drop to the floor. Changing the song to his favourite one on his iPod, he brought his right hand to his mouth and threw his head back, taking the pills down.

Then he started laughing.

Those fucked-up bitches got what they deserved, didn't they? They wanted him dead, well, here he was. He was going to die. Another tear slipped past his eyelashes, and soon he was crying and holding his stomach, where the beginnings of a terrible stomachache were coming.

Not even "Crawl Through Knives" could calm him down right now. So instead he lay on the bed, clutching his stomach, shoving his face into his pillow and taking deep breaths. Once or twice he had the sudden urge to vomit, but he choked it back down, forcing himself to stay awake.

Any moment now, someone would tear down the door. They would come and save him, and take him to the hospital.

No, this wasn't a fairytale. Good things didn't happen in real life- Vriska had proved that much to him already.

Sollux clutched his iPod, forcing himself to listen to the music. The music that had once made him feel good now did nothing to affect his situation. The sharp pangs of pain in his stomach were getting worse by the minute, and Sollux wondered if dying could possibly get more painful.

Just then, his phone rang.

Biting his tongue to hold back a groan of pain, Sollux forced himself to pick it up. He kept laying in a ball, however, as Karkat's voice blasted through the speakers.

"Hey, you little shit, where the fuck are you? Everyone's having fun, the party's chilling, but the second I turn my back, you ditch me? What kind of a shitty friend are you, anyways?" Karkat half-yelled because of the blasting music coming from the background.

_I'm the worst friend ever_ thought Sollux, closing his eyes, a small whimper escaping his lips.

"Hey, Sol, you there?" Karkat asked, irritation threading through his voice.

"Y-yeah, I am..." Sollux replied shakily. He wasn't sure how much longer he could stay awake. Perhaps that was a good thing.

"Dude, I'm asking where the fuck you are." Karkat growled, and Sollux could just picture the short troll standing in a corner, with all his facial features exactly as they always are. Pissed off.

"Dorm room..." Sollux said, his voice fading a little as another cramp hit his stomach. Damn. Gamzee didn't warn him about the pain. Then again, he probably should've just known.

"Well, what the fuck are you doing there?" Karkat screamed, and Sollux grimaced, throwing the phone against the wall. His sudden movement made his brain explode, though, and he bit his tongue, but not before a small shriek was emitted.

"Sollux? What the fuck was that? Sollux? Hey, fuckass, you there? Sol? ...Sol? I'm coming up. Dude, whatever this is, it isn't hilarious. Sollux Captor. You there?" Karkat's voice came out harsh and loud from the phone speakers, and Sollux reached over and flipped it shut, ending the call abruptly.

Finally, peace and quiet. Aside from "Take This Life" playing, nothing could be heard, apart from an occasional shuddering sigh or two from the hunched up figure on the bed.

Sollux's eyes were beginning to close, and he was succumbing to the warmth that he was feeling. It felt cozy, something he hadn't felt in a very long time. It would be so easy to just fall asleep right now... Just to sleep.

So Sollux closed his eyes.

Nine minutes later, a few short knocks were heard from the door of the room. A voice yelled inside, and a rattling of keys was heard, followed by a short span of cursing when the individual realised there was no way in the room. Footsteps were head running down the hall, and a shouted instruction was followed by it. Not many minutes later, a buzzing sound was heard, and the lock popped off the door, and a short and pissed college student burst in, panting.

When Karkat saw a blue-skinned Sollux lying on his bed in a curled up position, the short male ran to the bathroom and threw up. The janitor walked in and saw the young man on the bed, and ran outside to call an ambulance.

The rest of the evening was a blur for all.


	2. Age: 17

**AN:**_ Sorry guys, this was meant to be posted yesterday, except my internet kept crashing. And then my depressing muse died because I became happy. Well, anyways, enjoy and review! -Evin R. _

Age: 17

_Smack._ A punch to the side of the face, knocking Sollux to the floor of the small closet he had been dragged into. Hissing, he brought his hand up to his cheek, glaring up at the large and bulky individual standing above him. A kick to his ribcage sent him sprawling against the tiled surface again, and soon enough, Equius was upon him, pounding the living daylights out of the lanky teenager.

_Crack._ Sollux heard Equius' knuckles pop as they connected with his chest. Or were those his knuckles at all? He couldn't really tell the difference.

"You little _faggot_!" Equius shouted again, his voice cracking on the last word. He raised his right fist again, and Sollux helplessly held up his arms in defense again.

_Smack_. Sollux's limp arms did nothing to help him. His eyes filling up with tears, Sollux turned his head in order to avoid another incoming, but too late.

_Sma- Crunch! _The thin teenager let out a whimper as the large and burly fist connected with his nose. He felt his bone crunch, and blood started running down his face.

Right now, the pain Sollux felt was overwhelming to the point where he was almost begging the taller boy to stop. He would never stoop that low, though, so Sollux kept his mouth shut, wincing and squeezing his eyes shut each time Equius hit him.

"You killed her!" Equius growled, a leg stepping on Sollux's left arm, pinning it to the floor. Pain shot up his arm, but Equius' words hit him harder than any punch would.

_He killed her._

Sollux gulped, struggling to keep tears of pain from emerging through his eyelashes. He'd known that Equius was strong, but this? His blows were numbing him, almost, and Sollux's head felt dizzy.

_Aradia._

Equius decided to use Sollux's distracted state to stomp down harder on the thin arm. A bone was heard snapping, and Sollux howled in pain as the sensation was fully absorbed in his left arm. A wave of nausea swept over him, and Equius, realizing this, stepped back and sneered as Sollux gagged on the floor. He didn't throw up, however, so Equius reached down and grabbed the front of Sollux's tee-shirt, pulling him up in a swift motion.

"I hope you suffer as much as she did. You were supposed to die, not her!" the muscular teen whispered, his words cutting into Sollux's heart. He deserved to suffer. Equius was right. Sollux was supposed to die, it was never meant to be Aradia, never her. He loved her too much. He would've given his life for her in the blink of an eye; unfortunately, he didn't have that amount of time before his world turned upside down.

Equius let go of Sollux, dropping him on the floor once again.

Sollux's world faded to black as he watched footsteps fade away.

* * *

><p><em>Aradia shrieked and laughed as Sollux playfully tugged at her bow, smacking his hand away.<em>

"_Hey, don't distract me, I'm driving, Sol!" she giggled, turning her eyes back on the traffic lights. Sollux smiled, watching the faint trace of glitter in her hair shimmer. He leaned over to the driver's seat and planted a small kiss on her cheek, making her start giggling again. She turned her head and allowed him to kiss her on the lips, grinning up at him._

"_Oy, the light's green, Aradia." Sollux said, motioning to the traffic lights above them. She laughed and pressed down lightly on the pedal, the car purring as it shot forward. Sollux laughed, happy to see her amused so easily. Leaning back in the passenger seat, he reached his hand over to her to doodle lazily on her arm with his finger. She twitched, smiling, but before she could say anything, her phone buzzed from her dashboard._

"_Hey, Sol, could you get that? I'm kinda busy, you see." she said, pointing a finger at her cell._

"_No texting and driving." he said jokingly, flipping her phone open and pressing on the little mail symbol in the corner. A new text popped up from Vriska Serket, a girl from their class. Sollux briefly scanned through it, his smile turning into a deep frown, followed by a look of anger and disgust. _

"_Sol? Who's it from?" Aradia asked, still concentrating on the road._

"_N-noone in particular. Itth jutht thpam, Aradia." Sollux said, his lisp acting up again. Crap. It only did this when he was nervous, sad, depressed, or raging. It was not a fun little thing to have. _

_Aradia turned towards him a little. _

"_Sollux, who texted me? C'mon, it can't be that bad..." she said, reaching for her phone. Sollux pulled away too late, and she grabbed her phone, taking her eyes off the road to read the text. _

_Her expression changed from confused to anger and sadness in under the span of a few seconds._

"_Sollux... what is this. Explain." she demanded, gesturing to the text. Sollux nervously shifted his eyes to the road, thankful that Aradia was not a crazy driver. _

"_Look, Aradia, itth not real- I thwear to Gog it ithn't real. She's mething with you- remember when you wouldn't thteal that girl'th texthbook? She'th trying to get back at you. Don't get it in your head pleathe." he said, a hint of fear creeping in his voice. Aradia obviously believed the content of the text and she tended to get extremely mad whenever something was off. _

"'_He never loved you, Aradia. You're a toy to him'" read the screen of her phone. _

"_Sollux... is this true?" she asked, her voice wavering as she stared ahead at the road. Her small hands gripped the steering wheel, knuckles white._

"_I thwear, Aradia, itth not true at all. I told you, Vrithkath mething with you!" he replied, hands waving in front of her face a little. Sollux honestly didn't know why Aradia was doubting him- the text wasn't true. He bit his lip, and watched as Aradia turned towards him with a glare on her face._

"_Sollux, I really hate liars, and right now, I have a feeling you're lyin-"_

"_Aradia, red light!"_

"_Don't you dare tell me what to-"_

_Crash._

_Glass flew everywhere as Aradia's vehicle collided head-on with a truck coming from the opposite lane. Aradia and Sollux were thrown forwards, but a split second after, the airbags came into effect, pushing them back. Amongst the noise and chaos, Sollux heard a clear, loud snap. _

_The car stopped shaking, and the truck driver hopped down from his seat, unharmed but pissed off. Sollux shook from the crash, and hesitantly moved his aching body parts. He couldn't feel his left arm, and his back seemed to be in enormous pain. Groaning, he realized his arm was probably broken. A shiver went down his spine when he realized that no movement was coming from the driver's seat. Slowly, he twisted his neck sideways to check on Aradia._


	3. Age: 6

**AN: **_Sorry guys, this took a while! I was busy with a bunch of things- my mom's coming back from Hungary, and my computer got infected by a virus, etc, etc. My computer is still under the process of getting fixed by my amazing dad, so it probably won't take that long, but with the homework amount I've got, I might not update in a few days or a week. But who knows?_

_My apologies for this chapter- its not that great, and its horribly short. Reviews are appreciated though! Enjoy!_

Age: 6

"You can't catch me!" shrieked Aradia, running away from a sweating and stumbling Equius. Sollux rolled his eyes and looked away, unable to understand why the pretty little girl played with the disgusting boy. Ignoring the delighted giggles and girlish peals of laughter, the first grader turned to look at the next group of kids on the playground. Terezi, Vriska and Tavros were all sitting on top of the playground, near the slide and monkey bars. Squinting his eyes, he saw that the costumes from the fourth graders' play was draped over them in a slightly messy fashion.

Vriska was wearing a farily large nightgown over her clothes and was prancing around happily. She looked like the character Windy. Or whatever her name was. Wendy. Yeah, that was it. Terezi was holding a long stick and had a pair of gloves on her hand. Sollux thought for a moment, but couldn't recall anyone from the play with sticks. Tavros was clad in green from head to toe, reminding Sollux of a string bean. A very think and lanky 5-year-old string bean. With a red feather on his oversized green hat, though, his image as the (very young and inexperienced) Peter Pan was complete.

The trio was reenacting a pretend scene from the play, though Sollux didn't believe that they actually remembered what had happened, for it was a few weeks ago when the older children last performed. It was make-believe for a reason, though. He watched as Tavros' hat slipped slightly over his eyes, and snickered as the boy pushed it back up again, smiling. They were the weird bunch, alright.

However much fun they were having, though, it was boring for him. Sollux looked back at his book, reading the lines, whispering the words out loud to himself. He faltered over the words with the "s" in it, succeeding on producing only a slight "th" sound. He tried again, to no avail. His lisp seemed to get worse when he overused it, so he skipped the difficult word, going onto the next one in the sentence instead. Sounds came from the bunch near the monkey bars, though, so Sollux shut his book again. He was never going to get any reading done with these distractions.

"Hey, Peter, show me how you can fly!" giggled Vriska, clasping her hands behind her back and leaning forward towards Tavros. The thin boy looked around nervously, scratching his arm and shoving his hat up above his forehead again. Terezi just stood nearby, poking a hole in the wood with her stick.

Sollux opened his book again, flipping to the page with the bee bookmark. For some reason, bees were something that he had always loved. His grandmother had a honey farm, and whenever he visited, she would give him samples of the different types of honey that her bees made. His cheeks flushed happily at the fond memory, and he looked up at the sky, watching the clouds float by. Closing his eyes, the young boy quickly fell asleep, his book falling out of his hands and onto the mulch.

"C'mon Peter, fly!" Vriska said again, taking a step closer to Tavros, causing the boy to fidget a little.

"Um, I don't think flying is a good idea, Vriska" he said hesitantly, "I mean, how about we just pretend to fight Hook-"

"No! And it's Wendy, not Vriska!" Vriska shouted, stomping her feet on the wood of the playground.

"Okay, um, Wendy. I still think we should get down from here, for, um, safety and stuff." Tavros said, embarrassment flooding his pale cheeks.

"No! It's perfectly safe, Peter. Now fly!" Vriska said, crossing her arms.

"I really don't think it's a good-"

"Fly, Peter, fly!"

"Hey, Wendy, if Peter doesn't want to fly, don't make him!" Terezi said, interjecting. She had looked up from the hole in the wood and was now furrowing her small eyebrows at the other girl. Tavros gave her a small smile, and she grinned back. The two were next-door neighbors, and their parents worked for the same legal firm, giving the two kids many opportunities to play over at the other's house.

Vriska shot the two a glare, and felt tears pricking at the corners of her eyes.

She just wanted to play with them.

Why couldn't she be included and loved like them?

The tears were threatening to spill now, and she bit her trembling lip. Her sister had told her that if she cried in school, she would be a wuss. Vriska didn't know what a wuss was, but it was something horrible, she knew it. So, fighting back her anger and self-pity, she reached forward and shoved Tavros slightly.

"I said, fly!" she shouted, standing closer to him. The yell caused Sollux to wake up with a start, and he quickly picked up his book and brushed off any dirt that was left on it by the mulch. He sat back up normally, and, placing his book on the picnic table, continued to watch the increasingly-entertaining scene.

"W-wendy, I don't think I can f-fly…" Tavros stuttered, taking a step closer to the edge of the elevated playground.

"You're Peter Pan! Of course you can fly!" she said, her lips pulling into a frown. Taking another step, she pushed his shoulders, making the boy take another step closer to the ledge.

Terezi realized how close Tavros was to falling over, and she opened her mouth to say something, but Vriska had already moved.

"Fly!"

With a final angry shove, she pushed Tavros over the edge of the playground, and he fell, shrieking in fear. Sollux gasped out loud and stood up quickly as the thin boy landed with a loud thump.

A loud wail arose from the ground, and Sollux ran over quickly to see what had happened. Terezi followed suit, running down the steps of the wooden platform, but not after she punched the other girl in the eye.

The teachers, along with all the kids that had gathered, found Tavros lying on the ground, crying. The adults called an ambulance, and told the kids to stay back.

Vriska stood on top of the playground, deserted, lonely, and crying silently. She hated Tavros for the attention he was getting. She hated everyone for loving him but not her.

Later, after the ambulance had taken the first-grader to the hospital, their teacher was notified by Sollux and Terezi that Vriska was the "culprit" who pushed Tavros. Vriska got sent to the office for a talk with the principal.

There she learned that Tavros was paralyzed because of a spinal injury caused by his fall.

Vriska was sent home with a few warnings and notices not to bully other kids, but it all came and went in her mind. She could only think of one thing that week, during Tavros' absence.

She was the fault of his paralysis.

And no one will ever look at her the same again.


	4. Age: 16

_**AN:**__ Sorry it took so long, guys! Schoolwork caught up with me. Enjoy! Review, please! Tell me what I'm doing wrong- I swear I won't bite! ~E.R. _

Age: 16

"And the first place award goes to… _Sollux Captor!_"

Applause filled the auditorium as people turned around to look towards the young boy sitting towards the front. Sollux could hardly believe his own ears. He had won! He stood up, lightheaded with happiness, and walked to the stage in his second-hand suit. There he was met by the president of the Computer Club, the principal, and the business conference leader. Shaking hands with both men and the other teenager, Sollux accepted the trophy and the certificate. Cheers and more applause erupted, and he went back to his seat, high-fiving John and Dave on his way. They had gotten second and third place, respectively.

* * *

><p>Karkat punched Sollux in the arm, whooping and jumping in the air with a fist pump.<p>

"Yeah, fuckass!" he shouted, earning a few glares and strange glances from the people around them. Sollux grinned and shrugged, taking a look at his trophy again. He ran his fingers over his name engraved on the plaque, and his lips twitched into another grin. There was nothing else he loved more than doing what he loved most- programming- and getting recognized for it. Walking in the parking lot towards Karkat's run-down pickup truck, they got in and turned on the radio. Lady Gaga came on, and Sollux automatically started to sing along to her chorus, his voice filling the truck. Karkat remained frozen for a second, wide-eyed and staring. Sollux laughed- people never expected him to have a good voice, since he was a nerd. He put his feet up on Karkat's dashboard as the car pulled out of their lot. Moving quickly, however, Karkat changed the station and shifted into drive at the same time. Sollux's face turned to one of disgust as an opera station came on. The short black-haired boy sighed contently, and smiled, humming and relaxing into his seat. The taller teenager just rolled his eyes, hand moving to switch the station.

"No, Sollux, stop!" Karkat choked out as Sollux turned the dial again. Coldplay came on, and he joined in on the lead, his voice raising. Karkat huffed, irritated, and quickly changed the dial back. Sweet violins and a high-pitched falsetto flooded the car.

Growling, Sollux put his feet down and flicked the dial again. Karkat snarled, flicking it back, and the two squabbled over the music stations all the way to Sollux's house. Giving a manly fist-bump and a word of thanks to Karkat, Sollux got out and closed the passenger door. Waving goodbye, he turned towards his house as Karkat sped away. He walked up slowly to the paint-chipped front door and pulled out his house key. Unlocking it, he stepped inside, shutting the door behind him. Placing his trophy down on the small coffee table near the entrance, he took off his shoes.

The house was a run down one. Their family had bought it extremely cheap, from one of their friends. It must have been over 30 years old, at minimum; Sollux didn't even want to think about the maximum. The walls were cracking, the paint chipping and tearing down in strips- where there wasn't paint, the wallpaper took its place. The ceiling had spots of mold on it- those were caused by the cracks in the roof tiles, yet to be fixed. After 5 years of the rain dribbling in, the greenish bluish fungus had started to spread. Sollux twitched his nose, turning away from the sight. He would be out of here in less than 3 years, he thought to himself, looking at the windows. The frame of one had popped loose, and the nails were dangling from it. It was definitely a safety hazard that he would have to do something about.

Ever since they've lived here, Sollux had been ashamed of bringing friends over to play. His room, despite being a bit cleaner, was still not something that could be compared to the richer kids in his school. Even if he did bring someone over to hang out, what would they do? Sit in his room and talk? _Clean?_ No. Sollux lacked the videogames that the other kids had. He had enough money saved up for at least a laptop and a PC game, but if his parents found out that he bought it, they would be outraged.

Brushing away his thoughts, Sollux walked into the kitchen and opened the refrigerator. After all that programming, he was famished. Humming the opera track from Karkat's car, he rummaged through the near-empty drawers. Though he wouldn't admit it to Karkat for the world, opera was soothing, in a way. It was a nice change of music.

Footsteps were heard coming from his parents' room, and Sollux froze.

_Please, God, let him be sober, let him be sober, let him be sober._

Standing up straight, Sollux slowly closed the fridge door and turned to face his father.

Even while slumping, the late Captor managed to tower over Sollux. He slumped against the doorway of the bedroom, holding a beer bottle that was a little over three-fourths of the way empty. His clothing was crumpled and saggy, and his hair greasy. Sollux cringed as he took in the sight, and shrunk back as he smelt him- God, he could smell the beer from _here; _it was disgusting and repulsive. His father took a step closer, and, noticing Sollux for what seemed like the first time, took a step closer to him. Sollux gulped audibly as he looked into his father's bloodshot, glassy eyes.

"An' wherav ya been?" he growled, peering down at Sollux. Taking a deep breath, Sollux stepped out from under his hovering figure and scampered towards the coffee table. Grabbing his trophy, he held it up for his father to see.

"I-I was at a programming competition, Dad." He stammered, lips twitching into a half-convinced smile. "I won first place, too! Look, see, it has my name written right he-"

The older Captor's hand shot out and smacked Sollux upside the head.

"Boy, don't ya dare lie to me!" he shouted, spit flying from his mouth. His beer bottle swung around with his hand and missed Sollux by a mere 2 inches. Sollux ducked and picked up his trophy, holding it up again.

"But.. but Dad, see? Just look… my name, it's here!" he said, his mouth opening into a toothy grin. Maybe if he calmed his father down a little, he could get him to see what Sollux had done. What he had accomplished. Oh, how proud his Dad would be of him!

"Yar lyin! Yar all nuthin but a lyin peece of shit!" he yelled, his deranged manner growing worse. Sollux ran past him and into the parent bedroom, where his mother lay on the bed.

"Mom, Mom, I'm home" Sollux whispered frantically to the sleeping woman. She muttered and turned around, wrapping the blanket closer to herself. Sollux saw his father stumbling his way over, so he shook her arm, desperate to get her to wake up.

"Mom! Wake up!" he said, voice slightly cracking. She eventually opened her eyes and glared up at him, reaching up to slap his face.

"Is that any way to wake up your poor, sick mother?" she screeched, sitting up and yanking on his ear.

"No, Ma, its Dad, he's dru-"

"I am _not _drink!" his father snarled, reaching Sollux and slapping him again. Sollux shrank down on the bed, trying to get closer to his mother, but she pushed him back.

"Sollux, how dare you talk to your father that way! The way you're acting! It's a disgrace!" she snapped, shoving him away from her and onto the floor. His father reached down and clumsily grabbed Sollux by his suit collar, and dragged him over the bedroom floor towards the backyard. Sollux could feel splinters jabbing their way into his pants, and he winced every time he hit a bump. He dare not make a move right now, for his father would surely beat him more if he protested.

Sollux noticed that he was still clutching his trophy in his hands. Thinking only moments ahead, he decided to do something that he was sure to regret later on.

As his father proceeded to dump him in a pile of rocks by the side of the shed, Sollux picked up his trophy and threw it against his dad's head. It collided hard, and the late Captor wailed in shock, pain, and anger, turning on Sollux with a belt that he drew from his pants.

Sollux, however, was gone, running back through the house only to grab his phone and shoes. Opening the front door, he ran, barefoot, down the street and towards the front of the neighborhood. After only a few minutes of running, though, the splinters in his thighs were paining him, and he slowed down to a slower limp-trot. Sollux wanted to get as much distance between his house and himself as he possibly could, and so he walked on, his fingers dialing a well-memorized number.

"Hey, Karkat? Yeah, it's me… Quick question. Where the hell do you live?"


	5. Age: 19

_**AN:**_ _Oh, goodness, that took forever to post! Sorry about the wait, I was away at camp. I'll try to update often over this next week, since its my spring break, but I'm getting new glasses and getting together my Sollux/f!Eridan/Jane cosplays so I might be a little busy. Thanks for all the nice comments! Enjoy! –Evin R._

Age: 19

College was a bore. The classes were not that interesting, or rather; it was more along the lines of Sollux not finding them of personal interest. He's thought that getting away from high school would be a little better, considering all the painful ordeals he had to go through in the last one and a half years. Sighing, he crossed his legs and turned his attention back to the teacher. It was the second day of his freshman year, but the computer programming course offered no challenge to the young genius yet. All of his other classes had already jumped into a hard lesson, but the higher level lessons weren't exactly higher level. Sollux chose to doodle bumblebees absentmindedly instead of taking notes; he figured that the teacher will deserve his full, undivided attention when she gives a lesson worth listening to. Sure, she was pretty and young, but that normally meant under qualified for the job. In her case, it was clear that she must've been related to someone in charge. This was supposed to be a top-quality college, but Sollux found nothing top-quality about the higher level course.

Sollux glanced at the board briefly and raised his hand, attempting to look bored.

"Yes, Mr. Captor?"

"You added on an extra 0 to the sequence on line 2" he said, scratching his chin. "Technically it wouldn't work then, and you'll be stuck with a gorgeous error on the screen due to your lack of attention."

Her cheeks flooded with color, obviously embarrassed and slightly mad, and she turned back to the board quickly to fix the mistake. She ignored eye contact with everyone for the rest of the period.

* * *

><p><span>Eridan Ampora's POV<span>

Oh, carp, he was late.

Running down the pebbled roadway, satchel bouncing against his side, that was all Eridan Ampora could think of. His alarm had woken him up a whole 20 minutes late, and now he was stuck running to class, trying to avoid running into the other students leisurely strolling around. Pushing his way through a group of girls, he slowed down to a jog as he looked around for the correct building. Locating it, Eridan set off again, dodging his way around what seemed like an ocean of people.

After rounding the corner of the building and getting through a back entrance, he slipped in to the chorus room, hoping that no one noticed.

"Mr. Ampora, how nice of you to join us." An old, gruff voice came from the front of the class, and Eridan mumbled a quick apology, taking his usual spot in the stands.

It was going to be a long day.

* * *

><p><span>Sollux Captor's POV<span>

After escaping the horrors of his English class, Sollux chose to hang out in the small café across the street. The coffee was relatively cheaper here, even though the taste was still the same. It made his tuition more affordable if he didn't spend frivolously. Taking out his phone from his pocket, he scrolled through the latest texts, deleting them all. They were mostly from Karkat, asking how his day went, if he met any new people, and wondering what time he'll be back at their dorm. When they entered college, they (Karkat) decided that it would be best for them (for Sollux) if they (if Sollux) stayed together (didn't wander off with druggies and slept in the same room as Karkat). Sollux just went along with the act; he knew, in the back of his mind, that the smaller man was genuinely worried about him. Even though he didn't necessarily show it all the time. A friendship was hard to break, and while they dated other people, they remained loyal in a friendly way.

Shutting the cell off, Sollux sipped his coffee silently. The weather strongly showed signs of fall- far earlier than Sollux would expect it to. Back at his hometown, it stayed nice until November. Then it got cold. Here, in the first few days of September, the wind was already cutting through jackets, the leaves were already multicolored, and many layers of clothing were required all the time.

Sollux looked around and pulled out a slightly crumpled schedule from his pocket. Opening it up, he scanned over to Tuesday. The only class left for the day was a drawing class he chose to take. He had long given up singing, along with conversation in general. Though he sucked at art, Sollux figured it wouldn't be that bad to relax a little and take a more easygoing class. Finishing off his coffee and placing a small tip on his table, he stood up and walked out of the café.

Striding along the grass, he noticed that most of the people on the campus were in groups, huddled for warmth against the cold. The other individuals walking around, despite the chill, were wearing shorts and still looked a healthy shade of pink. Sollux just shook his head. Stupid northerners. Those lucky idiots probably thought it was a beach out here.

Walking around some groups, he came closer to the designated building in which the art class was going to take place in. Wrapping the coat even more around his skinny frame, Sollux rounded the corner.

And nearly ran into someone.

* * *

><p><span>Eridan Ampora's POV<span>

Finally, chorus was over. It was only his third day, and he was already being made fun of for his tardiness. This was not something that would look good on the to-be famous actor's record. He would have to try much harder to wake up on time. It was just a temporary problem, he told himself. He was not to get carried away practicing in the deserted auditorium late at night. An actor needs rest.

Brushing away all of his thoughts, he took out his schedule. What day was it? Oh, Tuesday, right. The next class was art. He snarled, frustrated, but decided to head there anyway and not skip. His mom was a famous artist, and her sister owned Betty Crocker. His dad wanted Eridan to follow his dreams, though he was intent on teaching the young Ampora a few things about fishing. His mother was strict on the fact that he take an art course to prove that she had passed on her talents to someone other than his cousin. How that worked, though, he wasn't sure, but he went along with it. If bad became worse, he would just drop the course. Without telling his mother, of course. Theatre was more important than anything, and it was what he planned to major in, other than fashion design. A double major would be difficult, but nothing that he couldn't achieve.

Eridan scanned the surrounding buildings. Ugh, they all looked so the same! He turned on his heels, and headed towards what he thought was the correct one. The wind was biting his bare skin, but just barely. He was used to swimming in colder temperatures than this, and in freezing water, too, so he didn't really mind. Loosening his long purple and navy blue scarf, he let the wind blow on his exposed neck. Walking towards the gray structure, he whistled a lazy tune. Reaching the side of the building, he walked on, arriving at the corner.

Walking around the corner, Eridan came face-to-face with another man.

The young man was wearing a lot of layers, but even so, Eridan could tell he was unbelievably thin. The other man looked just as shocked as he probably did, and Eridan mumbled a quick "Sorry", stepping to the right. Unfortunately, the other also stepped to the right, and seeing this, they both stepped back to the left. Then to the right again. Eridan's cheeks turned a small tint of pink, and stepped to the left just as the thin man stepped with him.

"Care to dance?" the man said, smirking slightly. Now Eridan was blushing furiously, and he stepped forward, grasping the thin, bony shoulders and turning them to the right as he stepped more to the left.

"There, now there's no more awkwardness." he said, gulping.

"Who said it was awkward?" the other man said, turning away. Eridan gaped after the stranger, and heard him chuckle as he disappeared all the way around the corner. Shrugging, Eridan turned around and forgot about the whole incident. Arriving at the building, he strolled in.

"And who might you be?"

His eyes adjusted to the classroom light, and Eridan noticed that this was a science class, not an art one. Stammering a quick apology (something which he was doing a lot today), he backed out and closed the door. Taking out his schedule, he checked the number again. Oh, carp. Building A, not B.

Taking off running, he reached the correct building and ran through the hall, arriving at the classroom. How could he have mistaken this building? It was as obvious to anyone that the multicolored weird hippie structure was the art one.

Bursting through the door, he sighed in relief- he had made it just in time for it not to be awkward or weird. Plopping down into a chair, he rummaged through his satchel when he felt a tap on the shoulder.

Twisting around in his seat, Eridan's eyes widened and his nose turned pink.

It was the same thin kid from before, furiously trying not to laugh.

* * *

><p><span>Sollux Captor's POV<span>

After the little run-in with that random kid, Sollux reached the classroom. It was a very nice studio; even he had to admit that. The chairs were lined up in a sort of a makeshift semi-circle, but in a way that allowed the students to see the object, not really each other.

Taking a seat close to the door, Sollux took out a sketchpad and started sketching the figure in the middle. He had been to one or two art classes, and this is what he was supposed to do… he guessed. The instructor was not in, and there was a note on the board to do whatever they want for the first hour, though that clearly meant he or she wanted results or at least works in progress when (s)he got back.

Drawing the first few lines, Sollux could automatically tell that this will go down horribly. Sighing, he was about to tear out the page when he saw someone jog through the door. That fellow should be glad the teacher wasn't he-

Hey, wasn't it that kid he 'danced' with earlier?

Looking at the young man, Sollux lowered his drawing pad a little, resting it in his lap. The other man sat down and started to look through his… purse? Whatever that thing was.

Sollux took in the tuft of purple hair and the gray clothing. He hadn't really paid much attention to it earlier, but that guy was not ordinary. Feeling subconscious, Sollux pushed up his own pair of broken glasses on his nose, noting that the other's glasses were brand new and oversized. True hipster. And that scarf, with those knee-length jeans. Quite frankly, he wasn't surprised at the fact that the man was in his class as to the fact that he didn't know his way here at first. Didn't a hipster like him have a schedule or something? Or was it considered too mainstream?

Tapping him on the shoulder, Sollux tried to hold in a bubble of laughter. He was strangely confused at himself- he couldn't even remember the last time he laughed. Maybe college was a good thing. Maybe art class wasn't going to be that bad after all. Yeah, right. This new try at friendship was probably going to go down the drain before it starts. Well, attempting it wouldn't hurt much. Would it?

"Hey, partner. Thanks for not standing me up, I knew from the moment I met you that you were going to be the one destined to dance with me forever and ever." Sollux said, fighting back a smirk. He watched as the other's face turned red again, and wondered if it was really this easy to rile up the poor kid.

"H-hello again." The kid said, his attention diverted from his purse-thing. His face showed a mixture of initial surprise and something else apart from embarrassment that Sollux couldn't quite place. Lips twitching into a slight smile, Sollux punched the other man's arm lightly.

"Ease up. I'm Sollux- nice to see you again. Make sure to get a copy of the correct schedule next time. The art building is the colorful one."

* * *

><p><span>Eridan Ampora's POV<span>

Sollux. Well, it's a nice name, he guessed. Interesting, though Eridan wasn't too different. The guy sure had a lot of wit, talking like that. Of course he had a schedule! Oh, never mind. It was obvious that whatever protest he would try to make would be held against him. Taking out a medium sized sketchpad, he arranged his supplies so that he was comfortable, and then turned back to his new… acquaintance? He wasn't sure what to call someone that he had just met. Friend seemed a bit of a stretch, seeing as he didn't have many.

That was for later, though. This was the time not to screw up a possible friendship. Reaching out his hand, he grasped Sollux's and shook it firmly, feeling the thin bones between his own. He quickly loosened his grip, unsure if he had hurt the lanky teen.

"Nice to meet you, Sol. I'm Eridan."


	6. Age: 13

Age: 13

"I'm telling you, man, she has the hots for you." Karkat whispered, leaning into Sollux's ear. Sollux shrugged, motioning for him to get away. Secretly, though, he stole another side glance at the girl in question.

Aradia Megido

He had never outright told anyone, but he was pretty sure Karkat had already guessed that Sollux had a major crush on her.

What Karkat had most likely not guessed was that it had been a little more than a crush since around fourth grade. Sure, she had grown a few inches taller than him, but he ignored the fact, choosing instead to think about her long, chestnut-brown hair and her pretty, round, hazel eyes. In his mind, she was a human version of an angel.

Which also meant out of his league. No matter how alike they were, she was so high up on the social ladder that there was no chance for him left. Besides that, Equius had more or less called dibs on her, way back before Sollux even took a second look at her.

His daydreaming thoughts were interrupted with the sharp raps of Karkat's knuckles on his forearm. Huffing angrily, Sollux turned to glare at him. The tiny boy puffed out his cheeks, none-too-happy at being ignored for so long. Sollux looked at him, scanning his face, eventually settling on just gazing at his eyes. They looked a lot like Aradia's, except Karkat;'s were a shade or two darker.

"Hello-o? Fuckass, you there?" a hand waving in front of his face caused Sollux to blink and come out of his momentary daze.

"Yeah, I'm here." He replied, resting his cheek in his palm, elbow on the desk.

"Well, then, get with the program and start working, you hopeless sack of skin and bones! I swear, if I see you turning your weird three-D spectacles at her one more fucking time, I will knock Cupid right outta his position above your head so hard that lovebirds will cry and the angels themselves will fucking weep in the Heavens abov-"

Sollux shut him up with a hand on his mouth. Karkat kept at it, and Sollux rolled his eyes at the muffled curses coming out from behind his left hand.

Showing off straight, pointy teeth, he grinned at Karkat and released him.

"Alright, Mr. Doom-and-gloom, no need to get feisty with me. Besides, wasn't it you that is constantly trying to notify me whenever she looks in this direction? Even if it's to read a poster behind my beautiful face, you flip out." Sollux said, smirking and pulling out a pencil from his backpack. Karkat flipped him the finger and shoved the partner work between them, pulling out writing materials. Both of them got started on the problems.

"Class, I do believe I said to partner up girl-boy. So far, I only see one pair following directions. Here, you two can get candy for doing what I said!" the teacher said, smiling at Nepeta and Equius. Sollux snorted as he saw the jock break out in sweat. His cousin, on the other hand, squealed, bounding up the isle to the front of the room, where she retrieved two packets of Swedish Fish. Handing one to Equius on her way back, she sat down and proceeded to rip the package apart with her teeth. Everyone shuddered, turning away as Nepeta leaped over her desk to pounce on some escaping gummy fish. Equius walked up to Aradia and handed her the Swedish Fish, beads of sweat rolling off his face. Sollux shuddered- he didn't get grossed out by a lot of things, but that dude was horrendous.

The teacher smiled, and Sollux wondered if all her classes were like this. He turned back to Karkat, however, when he heard Terezi approaching. He was just in time to see her knock Karkat upside-down the head with her cane, cackling like a madman. She patted his hair, trailing her fingers down his face and shoulders until she located his arm. Grabbing it forcefully, she dragged him up and away, turning back to tell Sollux a quick "Sorry, you're not female enough to be his partner" notification. Sollux laughed as she led him away, tapping alongside the side of the classroom for support. Karkat's desperate pleas ("Sollux is getting a gender change, I swear!") were lost amongst the buzz of the other students, and Sollux turned back to his work. He sighed softly, realising that he was the only one in the class without a partner. As usual.

"Hi, Sollux." A shy voice came from his left side just as he was about to drown in self-pity. He sat up in his seat, gaping up at Aradia, who had mysteriously appeared by him. "May I sit here?" she asked, pointing to Karkat's empty desk, "I don't have anyone to work with, and you don't, either, so…" she continued, trailing off and shuffling her feet on the ground. Sollux perked up immediately and wiped everything off of Karkat's desktop. Ignoring the clatter of books and Karkat's angry yell, he smiled and gestured to the seat. While doing so, he peeked a look back at Equius; the jock was openly glaring at him, sweating what seemed like a million buckets per minute. Sollux grinned satisfactorily, and turned back to Aradia.

"Go on right ahead; I'd love to have you work with me." Sollux said, gloating for the victory he had just accomplished. Aradia laughed softly as she sat down, ignoring Karkat's blubbering attempts to tell her to get out of his seat from across the room.

Taking out the worksheet, they both got started, silently at first, but growing more confident with every passing minute. As they continued working, they talked. Aradia and Sollux got to know each other better; solving math problems wasn't really _that_ interesting, and both of them preferred conversing with one another. Sollux mostly found out things about Aradia that he had already known- she was an only child, like him; she loved history, reading, and listening to classical music; her favourite colour was red, and she loved visiting the library. The last thing he knew only because he frequently saw her there, sitting and reading, hair pushed back behind one ear. He often went to study instead of participating in the recreational time activities, and that half an hour was normally spent doing a problem, then looking up and watching the silent girl. She would not move, other than turning a page one in a while. Her face, at those times, was pretty much impassive- all those times watching her, and Sollux had only seen her smile or frown twelve times.

In turn, Aradia found out similar things about Sollux. His favourite colours were red and blue (at this, he flushed, motioning to his red and blue checkered shirt); he loved bees, and his recreational activities included learning more about computers, voice training, and reading. Aradia grinned happily at the mention of reading, and they continued to chat away about great titles and favourite authors for the rest of the period. A few times, Sollux would "accidentally" brush something (usually a pencil) over the edge of the desk so he could lean down and look back at Equius. Every single time he looked, it seemed as though the boy had not moved from his position. He would just sit there, shooting arrows out of his eyes at them, and growl.

When the bell rang for dismissal, Sollux and Aradia headed towards the bus lot. Sollux was feeling much more alive than he had in a while, and in the spur of the moment, he asked Aradia for her number. At this, she blushed, giggling, and grabbed his phone to punch it in. She handed his cell back to him, and laughed loudly, watching Sollux sputter at her.

"Text me later, maybe?" she asked, waving goodbye as she turned around. Sollux just stood there for a moment, smiling stupidly after her, warmth spreading through his body.

Yes, he definitely felt more alive.

_**AN: **__Sorry that it took such a long time to post! I just started Driver's Ed (yeah, late, I know) so I don't get home until late, and then homework gets In the way. Well, I hope you enjoyed that! The next chapter will be up later today, or tomorrow! Don't forget to drop a review! -Evin R._


	7. Age: 16 Part 2

AN: Okay so I know I said I'll have it up but then Driver's Ed happened and school. So here it is! :) - Evin R.

Age: 16

"Why do you need to know?" Karkat asked, laughing. Sollux brushed away the angry tears that pricked his vision, and picked up a light jog again, glancing behind him in the darkness. Moving off the side of the road, he slid himself into the forest, bumping into a tree and cussing before answering his friend.

"Can I stay over for a few- I mean, a day or two?" he asked, faltering over the time period. A few days seemed like a stretch, and besides, he wouldn't want to intrude on Karkat's family for that long. A day, or maybe two, would give him enough time to calm down and go back. His parents would be sober and nicer by then, Sollux thought. He stepped on a branch, and flinched as it made a large snapping noise. He heard Karkat take in a breath, and felt something sharp scratch his face.

"Fff!" he hissed, and stumbled right then, crashing into a dead tree trunk. His phone fell out of his hand, and in two minutes, the light blinked out. Sollux felt around with his hand, slightly pissed but amused at his incompetence with the dark. Judging the location by the sound of Karkat's voice, Sollux found the phone, flicking the screen, and holding it up to his ear again.

"-and then turn right, then left again, and then you'll pull up to this hell hole and that's where I'll be ready to squirt my toothpaste on your ungrateful butt. Got it?" Karkat asked, his voice a tad bit too loud in the silence of the forest surrounding Sollux. He lowered the call volume, and rubbed his eyes with his knuckles. Starting to tread through the rough terrain, he answered Karkat.

"No, sorry. I was distracted, your majesty. Repeat it again, will you?" he asked, hoping Karkat wouldn't be too angry.

"No way, fuck you. I live in a holy maze; instructions will only be given to assholes who listen. I'll come pick you up. Head into the mysterious darkness, I will. Rescue your lazy ass, I must. Why? Because the dork can't live two minutes without seeing my beautiful face again. Oh wait, never mind. It isn't just seeing me; fuckface wants to sleep with me, too. Finally gotten enough of Aradia, have we? Yeah, well, I'll be there in five." Karkat said, and hung up before Sollux could get a word in.

He ended the call from his side, and growled, kicking a nearby tree. Karkat was making things so complicated. Could he just shut up once in a while, and listen to anyone but himself? He should've just called Aradia for help. Her parents, however, would most likely not be lenient with seeing her boyfriend sleeping over. Turning around, Sollux started to head out of the mass of trees, tripping occasionally and flailing his way through obstacles. He had gone farther in than he thought, and more than six times, he tripped- his cell phone's light only shone so far, and he didn't have night vision.

After what seemed like a year (but was surely no more than four minutes), Sollux emerged at the edge of the road again, covered in to-be bruises and a few bleeding scratches, caused by thorns. Muttering to himself, he tried reaching a conclusion on what to do. He couldn't go back to his house now- should he just stand at his neighborhood's entrance? A shudder of fear ran through him as he realised that Karkat might already be there. The kid was a fast driver, and who knows what his dad might do!

Just as he finally picked up his pace a full-out run, Sollux saw headlights on the road. They were swerving from side to side, and Sollux took note of the speed it was going at, and decided that it might be trouble. He attempted to get off the road and out of the way, but the drunk driver (most likely a teen, judging by the loud bass coming from within the vehicle) clipped him on left shoulder, and he gave out a yell as he felt something tear.

His balance was thrown off momentarily, and he fell to his knees, looking up and shouting at the driver. The drunk teen paid no heed to Sollux, however, and sped off, leaving Sollux lying in the middle of the road. Reaching over, Sollux gingerly touched his shoulder where his suit jacket was torn. When he pulled back, his fingers were coated in a sticky, dark liquid. Wincing, he realised that he felt a bit disoriented, and so he attempted to get off the road. Half-rolling and half-dragging himself, Sollux managed to get into the ditch. The grass was wet and cold and Sollux shivered, mentally berating himself for not grabbing a jacket or something on his way while running out. His suit was getting crumpled, and there was no way he would ever get all the dirt, blood, and grass stains out of it now, much less figure out how to patch up the rips and tears. A few minutes later, he closed his eyes, but couldn't get any rest because of the cars constantly passing. Was anyone going to stop? Would they just all pass by, and not care? Did Sollux seriously look dead to all of them? He might as well have been, the amount of attention he was currently receiving. Well, at least, he would be, soon. If not from the blood loss, then pneumonia or hypothermia should do the trick. He could already feel himself growing slightly colder by the minute. He shut his eyes again, placing two dead leaves over his eyes. It blocked out most of the lights from the passing cars' headlights, and that might have been the reason he didn't see a car come up and stop. Nor did he head the driver cautiously get out and tread through the sodden grass.

He did, however, feel that person brush the leaves off his face, and he opened his eyes just in time to see and hear the individual shout "Holy fuck, _Sollux!_" Wincing, he tried to shield his eyes from the headlights of Karkat's pickup truck.

"Gog, why? I'm trying to sleep here, KK." He groaned, throwing his uninjured arm over his eyes. Karkat's eyes widened a considerable amount, and he grabbed Sollux's arm away from his face, eyes scanning to see If anything was wrong. When he finally spotted the injured shoulder, his breath hitched. Sollux was glaring daggers at him, but Karkat ignored him, and tried to determine what to do in this situation.

"Fuck…Sollux, why…" he muttered, awkwardly trying to pick the lanky teenager up. It was a good thing that Sollux's weight was way below healthy- it made these types of things easier for Karkat. Not that he wanted to do much carrying every day. His height, however, was above average, and that diminished the hope of Karkat carrying him. So instead, he helped Sollux to his feet, and half-carried, half-dragged his friend to the truck. When no cars were in view, he quickly shuffled Sollux over to the passenger side, and opened it up, shoving what now seemed like dead weight inside the vehicle. Once he was sure that the door was closed, he ran to the driver's side, got in, slammed the door, and leaned over to quickly buckle Sollux in before stepping on the gas pedal hard.

"Sollux, what the fuck happened to you? Why the hell are you not at your house?" Karkat sputtered, directing the car towards the hospital. He had to get Sollux there, and relatively fast; it might not be anything but a few stitches, but the tall teen looked more tired and pale than usual. He was also shivering, and trying to hide it. Karkat knew better, though. He reached back, keeping his eyes on the road, and patted around till he found a blanket, which he then proceeded to drape on Sollux.

Sollux, in turn, slumped down on the seat, and pulled out his wallet absentmindedly. Tossing it to Karkat, he murmured something. Karkat took a quick look in his lap and frowned.

"Why the hell is this here? It's yours, asshat, not mine." He said, placing the patchy leather back in Sollux's limp hand. Sollux shook his head weakly and lobbed it back at Karkat.

"It's for me getting blood on your seats. You know, to get them cleaned and stuff…" he muttered, closing his eyes and leaning back against the headrest. Humming the opera track from earlier that night, he smiled, until Karkat slammed his tiny fists onto the steering wheel.

"God dammit, Sollux, this is not the time to sing! Damn you, what the hell happened Are you drunk? Cause that's the only explanation I can see right now, unless you're high with some crap! Why the hell are you bleeding, anyways? Did someone hurt you? Who was it? I'll beat their ass!" Karkat yelled, slamming the brakes for the red light. Sollux snickered, and touched his injured shoulder lightly, ignoring Karkat's raging.

"Oh, this, you mean? Its nothing- a car bumped into me, KK. No, I'm not drunk," he said, interrupting Karkat before he could open his mouth again, "I'm just tired. Can you just take me to your house? I can wrap this little thing up with gauze; and I'll pay for you gauze, too, for heavens' sakes" he continued, looking out to the window.

Growling, Karkat stomped on the gas, causing the car to lurch forward, slamming Sollux against the seat.

"Wow, hell, cant you go any faster?" he said, rubbing the back of his neck. "I'm gonna look like someone physically abused me by the time I'm out of this car" he added, smirking. He stopped short, however, when his friend cut him another glare.

Sighing, Karkat pulled up to the Emergency Care center, slamming his door and running over to Sollux's side to help him out. Sollux shoved him aside, but when he stumbled, overcome with dizziness, he allowed Karkat to assist him inside the building.

After going through paperwork and ID's (they weren't considered a total emergency, despite Karkat's loud protests) Sollux was called in by a young doctor by the name of Dr. Stance. Karkat stood to follow, but he was stopped, the doctor motioning for him to sit back down. Sollux was provided a wheelchair, which he politely declined.

After they went in, Karkat sat outside in the waiting room, his knees bounding up and down as he jiggled his legs nervously. He forced himself to calm down, but he couldn't escape his thoughts. He knew Sollux would be okay- water, rest, and band aids would help him immensely- but what had caused him to go into the woods? At least, Karkat assumed that he had been wandering around in the forest- his clothes surely suggested as much. And why wasn't Sollux worried about his shoulder? Was he high, or drunk, but just denying it? Karkat, having never tried either, didn't know the effects of either substance. He trusted Sollux to an extent; however, he had a strong feeling it might be an overdose of drugs. Tylenol, Advil… it would explain the absence of pain and the cocky attitude? Maybe? Was it a long shot? Karkat couldn't be sure, but it was the best guess he had.

After ten minutes of thoughts similar to those, Sollux emerged from behind the door, carrying a tiny bag of Goldfish (Only 100 calories!) and slurping a children's box of grape juice. He pointed to the juice box and mouthed the word "gross". Karkat just rolled his eyes dramatically, and approached Dr. Stance.

"What happened?" he demanded, crossing his arms. The doctor had a hard time not laughing at the narrowed eyes and the pouty face of the small teen.

"Well, as far as I can tell, your friend only scraped his shoulder. A patch of skin is torn straight off-" Karkat winced "and some muscle tendrils were torn and stretched, but I gave him some morphine and stitched the muscle up. The skin, however, will have to heal on its own. Apart from blood loss, dizziness, and mild confusion, he's perfectly fine." He finished, smiling warmly at the short boy. Karkat continued glaring, but he nodded, pulling out his wallet and paying the receptionist what they owed. Grabbing Sollux's arm, he led him outside, and they both got in the car.

Karkat rubbed his eyes, and rested his head on the steering wheel, turning away from Sollux. He only let a few small tears slip down his face before he wiped them away and sat back up. Many people said that he didn't have feelings other than hate, but it wasn't true. Karkat probably cared for his friends more than any other thing in the world. The thought of losing one of his closes friends; someone he had grown up with; was unbearable. When he saw someone lying by the side of the road, he became afraid. When it turned out to be Sollux, it took all his greatest efforts to calm himself down and not flip out completely, like he had wanted to.

He started the car again, and drove the two of them to his house, remaining silent the whole time. Sollux didn't attempt conversation, which was well, for if he had, Karkat would've surely stated yelling at him. As they neared his house, Sollux began looking nervous, and Karkat reached out to squeeze his hand briefly before pulling into the driveway.

After they got into the house, Karkat quickly notified his parents that Sollux was injured due to a soccer incident, and he would be spending the night over. His parents readily agreed, eager to see Karkat having a friend over, and soon they left the house so that the boys could "talk about girls, play videogames, and horseplay like boys tend to do". After they closed the door behind them, Sollux winced at the yelling he was sure he was about to have to endure, but it never came. Karkat simply pointed to the stairs, and showed him his way to the bedroom, tossing him a pair of shorts and a tee-shirt.

"Here- change into these. I can wash your suit if you wish." He said curtly, taking off his own shirt in a swift motion, and putting on another baggier one. Sollux murmured a word of thanks, and proceeded to taken of his clothes slowly. Karkat assumed it was because of his shoulder, but after sneaking a look at the tall and thin boy, he could see that he was way off. He gasped out loud, and turned away quickly as Sollux turned to give him a questioning look.

"Damn, I stubbed my idiotic little toe. Why the hell to people have these things, anyways? Toes are so retarded." Karkat lied, reaching down to rub his "injured" toe. He looked back when Sollux turned around again, and this time stared, openmouthed, at his friend's exposed back. Sollux's skin was covered in multiple shades of purple, green, blue, and black, with red marks and cuts running up and down and across each other in all directions. All of these strips of red had a large square someone among it, and Karkat realised with horror that it was not at all unlike a mark that a large, heavy belt would make. As Sollux slipped off his pants to change, Karkat got a brief glimpse of the scars and cuts continuing down randomly to his ankles, before most of them were covered up. The short were a little too big on him. Karkat quickly finished changing, ignoring the fact that his friend had injuries all over his body. Suddenly, a thought popped into his mind, and he asked before he could think better of it.

"Hey, Sollux, why didn't you take off your clothes for the doctor?" he wondered casually, picking up Sollux's shirt for inspection. Yep, it appeared as though the jagged hole that was there had become a larger, more circular and straight hole in the fabric. He was about to turn around, when he felt himself get whirled around. Sollux was grabbing the front of his shirt, and snarling at him. Karkat winced, shrinking back from Sollux's icy glare. Karkat silently noted that Sollux's energy seemed to be back rather quickly, as he often did when he was angry.

"I told him not to tell you that!" Sollux growled, grabbing his suit away from Karkat and releasing him. Caught off guard, Karkat fell to the carpet with a thump, and scowled, standing up and rubbing his backside.

"He didn't tell me anything- I just saw a circle cut out, and since no car makes circle tears, I assumed it was from the ER…" he said, trailing off as Sollux turned away. He tensed, unsure whether or not to ask his next question.

"Hey, so, um… apart from that… why did you wanna spend the night here?" he questioned tentatively, walking to Sollux's front and looking him in the eyes. Searching for any signs of lying, Karkat only saw Sollux's eyebrows bunch together and his mouth harden into a straight line.

"That's none of your beeswax." He said, biting his lips. Karkat narrowed his eyes at his friend, and pointed to the door. His heart almost tore in half at saying the next part, but he had to find some things out.

"Fine, then, you ungrateful ass. You can just march straight back out." He shot back, another thorn shoving deep into his chest as he saw shock and hurt cross Sollux's face. Thankfully, the lanky teen wasn't that stubborn, and he sighed and looked at the ground, sitting down and pulling his legs closer to himself. When he looked back up again, his eyes were glossy, and he was shaking. Karkat's mouth opened, then closed, and he moved quickly to get a blanket from the hallway closet. Draping it around Sollux's shoulders, he sat down next to him, awkwardly trying to pat the other teen's arm.

"Hey, dumbass, I didn't mean that…" Karkat muttered, punching Sollux lightly in the right shoulder. Sollux blinked wearily, and shrugged off the blanket, ripping off his tee-shirt and giving Karkat a full view of his welted back. Putting it back on more slowly, Sollux turned his body back towards Karkat, but his eyes were looking anywhere but his friend's face. Karkat gaped at Sollux again, for the millionth time- he wasn't actually expecting Sollux to tell him, much less outright _show_ him.

"My dad's a drunkard. So's my ma." Sollux mumbled, and that was the first and last thing that he ever said about that. Karkat leaned into him and hugged the taller boy gently, his fingers skimming the bruises and scars through the thin fabric of the white tee. Sollux shuddered but accepted the warm hug, and after a while, the two of them fell asleep side-by-side, fingertips barely touching, but just there to let the other know that everything was going to be alright.


	8. Vriska: Age: 23

_AN: __I have a job, I'm running a summer camp, and exams are up and comin'. Sorry for the delay, hope you enjoy! –Evin R. _

[Vriska] Age: 23

Vriska sat in her chair, chewing on the end of her pencil. Writing a letter was harder than she had thought. Writing a letter to a dead man? Even harder. She stared at the blank sheet of stationary in front of her; she had gone down to the arts and crafts store in the area just to buy it. It was pale yellow, with a bumblebee in the corner, a speech bubble over it, saying "Bee happy!" Vriska snorted softly, and whirled her roller chair around to face her bed. Pulling her knees up to her chest, she sat and thought.

Her thoughts were briefly interrupted by Terezi's voice calling her from downstairs.

"Hey, Spider-girl, you coming for dinner or what?" the girl yelled, clanging two pots together. Vriska shook her head, but then realised that even if she was right in front of her, Terezi wouldn't be able to see her.

"Nah, I got stuff to do!" Vriska shouted back, standing up and closing her door. She heard Terezi cackle a quick "Alright then, whatever you want!", and she smiled a little. Terezi wasn't a bad person to keep around. Sitting down on her bed, she stared out the window, aimlessly wandering in her brain. No motivation came to her, now or ever, only when she really needed it. Which would be right now, except she really didn't want to do this stupid thing, to write the stupid letter, even though she felt horrible. Although she would never admit to anyone, dying sucked, and although the dead man was not her most favourite person in the world, she still felt bad.

She checked her watch. Why was she delaying this for so long? So far, she's made excuses: Not enough time, didn't want to waste fancy paper, can't think of the right things to say, too much homework, the dog ate it. These excuses weren't for anyone particular, only for her, but she knew the real reason- if she started writing, she would probably not stop until she wrote out every last feeling she had; even the ones that had nothing to do with him.

Her thoughts wrestled: She didn't want to, but at the same time, she did. The latter finally got the better of her and she slunk over from her bed to her chair, sat down, and faced the happy bumblebee stationary again. Good thing she had ten of these sheets. She was going to need the front and back of most of them.

Grabbing her chewed-up pencil again, she held it to the paper, and started scrawling.

_Um, hi._ She wrote, pausing for a moment. Did that sound too awkward? Wait, what did she care? She was writing to someone who wouldn't even read it, after all! Vriska stared at the sheet of paper, trying to think of the types of letters that are written. Maybe she should just write a eulogy? But Karkat had insisted that they all write letters, to get through this together, or some crap like that.

_You're dead, I don't even know what I'm doing right now, _she scribbled down. Ugh. This was already starting to feel like a one-sided conversation to her. Sollux was probably laughing in his grave now, having the time of his life, watching her suffer through this. They had always hated each other, but at the same time, they always got along. Kinda. Sorta. Not really.

_Alright, this is going to be a letter. Along and weird mushy feeling-y shitty letter to your little selfish ass. You went and died, and didn't even think about anyone while doing it. You had a life ahead of you, and you blew it. Why? Did we not matter? Okay, perhaps I didn't matter that much, but what about Karkat? What about Aradia? If she was alive, would you have wanted her to commit suicide if you had died? I know, I know; it was my fault she died, __you've told me countless times.__ I didn't want her to die, though, Sollux. I never wanted anyone to get hurt. Even when we were young. I know you think I'm a bad person, and I know that you're probably wondering why I ever did anything to hurt anyone. I guess I don't know. It's just the way I am. My mom was amazing but a bitch at the same time, did you know that? __But when she left me alone, I grew harder than I already was. In the heart, you weird perv__ Okay, let me rephrase that. My heart grew stone cold. I remember when your parents kicked you out. Or you ran away. I never really found out what happened, but everyone suddenly became your friend. They were supportive of you. Same as when your girlfriend died. But where was everyone when my mom left? I never knew my dad- at least you knew yours. I know I shouldn't be so self-pitying, but here is someone that had all the love in the world, but yet he (you, if you haven't figured it out yet) just brushed everyone away without thought. Then there is someone like me (it's me) who wants a friend. That's all I ever wanted, Sollux. But I didn't have a friend. Not like you, I didn't. I had Equius and Gamzee but they never really liked me. Not truly. Not like Karkat and the rest of our grade liked you._

Vriska stopped writing for a minute, looking down at the paper. For no reason whatsoever, her eyes grew fuzzy, and her vision blurred with unshed tears. She leaned her head back, willing the tears to stay inside her eyes, then leaned back down and started writing faster.

_Do you get it now? You had everyone on your side. You had anything you wanted, and yet you just threw it away. Why? Do you hate us? Did you hate me? I know I jeered at you every time possible, but was it my fault? Was it? Like everyone says it is? I know they're saying it. They're probably saying it right now, too. They always have. With Tavros. With Aradia. And now you, too. Sure, some might have blamed you for distracting Aradia, but it wasn't really blaming when they knew that I sent the message that caused it. I was just trying to get back at her. I didn't know she'd be driving. I just want someone to believe me. I was jealous, and stupid. No, not jealous of you. Jealous of Aradia for being pretty. We used to be great friends. We used to play videogames together. Along with Terezi. And Tavros. But then Aradia pissed me off, and in my rage, I sent the message. Please believe me. Hey, look at that, Sollux. I wonder what you'd say if you saw me right now. Writing to you and halfway crying. While you're dead. It's a fucked-up world we're living in right now. You're missing out. No, you've become a part of it. Why did you have to die? You didn't leave a note. No reason. No last words, other than telling Karkat that you came up to the dorm. _

_ So why did you do it? I absolutely refuse to believe it was because of me. Even if it was. But God, if it was because of me, I don't wanna hear it. I can't live with myself knowing that someone died; no, killed themselves, because of something I said or had done. Was it to join up with Aradia? I know you guys were serious, but I wasn't sure it was this serious. Did you feel like the world would be better off without you? Because it isn't, Sollux Captor. The world is still the same, except our part of it is more sad and depressed. People miss you. They were your friend, even if you were never theirs. __Hell, even I miss you._

_ You didn't need to know that. You think I'm lying? Why would I have kept on teasing you? I know we never got along, but you do know it was all a joke, right Sollux? Hey, you knew that, right? Did you? Please answer. Read this letter and freakin' answer this. I want to know. No, I need to know. I need to know what happened. Everyone needs to know, Sol. Can I call you that? I've never said your first name before. Only Captor. Always Captor. I've always wanted to have a friend. I thought that I actually found a few, but they all turned around and stabbed me in the back. Except you. You kept hating me. That was like love, to me, in a way. You would always hate me._

_ Wow I sound fucked up, talking about hate-love and shit. It doesn't even exist. Maybe I was the only one who ever thought that way. You hate someone so much that you have an attraction towards them. That was always me, Sollux. To you. This is kind of a coming out letter, I guess._

_ Except it's not supposed to be, because everyone will probably read it and make fun of my idiocy._

_ How much do you wanna bet that I'm the only one actually writing a letter? Others are probably by your grave, stronger than me, and talking to your body that's just __sitting sleeping __laying down below them. It's kind of creepy. _

_ So what am I supposed to do now?_

_ What is anyone supposed to do now, now that you're gone?_

_ I know what you would say. Or rather, what you wouldn't. Because you never talked, Captor. You were always quiet, except when cracking a snide comment or a joke at the teacher. I would never laugh. Not on the outside, anyways. I would burst out inside, though, because honestly, you were amazing at that. And computers. _

_ You had a whole life ahead of you. You could've become the CEO of a huge computer company or some shit, if you actually gave two shits about what you wanted to be. Or what you wanted to do. I mean, why else would you try so hard in school? You used to be so good at everything. _

_ I once heard you singing. At Aradia's grave. _

Vriska reached up to wipe away the stray tear that was running down her cheek. She held her wet finger up to her eye and stared at the small droplet of water that rested there. Closing her eyes, she let go, and two small rivers formed on her face as she cried silently.

And she remembered.

She remembered that day, when she first noticed that Sollux could sing. It was in the middle of autumn, about a half a year after Aradia's death. She had gotten the instructions to the grave from Aradia's parents, who were extremely reluctant as they gave it to her. Vriska could tell what they were thinking. They knew it was her fault. Her, who killed their daughter, and now, half a year later, she wanted to visit her grave? Just now? Why not then? Why not in the hospital, or the service they held for her? And the funeral? Even Sollux attended, who was the one charged for distracting Aradia.

Vriska could see the sadness in their eyes as she took the slip of paper. Thanking them in a whisper, Vriska turned to walk away, getting on her bike and opening the folded piece of paper. Aradia's parents didn't have her handwriting at all. No trace of the girl's small, tilted scrawl. Large and neat print filled the sheet, and Vriska couldn't help but feel defeated. She was hoping that they would have the same handwriting. To feel closer to her lost friend.

Biking up to the graveyard was not hard at all. Her blue and black bicycle sped to the site faster and smoother than expected. Vriska was amazed every time, even though she's had the bike for years.

Placing it softly against the picketed fence, Vriska slid inside the gate and looked around. She felt like she shouldn't make any noise. The spirits might get angry.

What idiocy. They were dead bones in a grave.

Vriska still took light footsteps, and prodded over in the general direction of Aradia's headstone, counting the lines.

18th line, 5th grave on right, read the sheet of paper.

It was a little while away.

It was why she had not seen the man crouching in front of her friend's grave at first.

Vriska slid in closer, and hid behind a headstone, mentally saying "Sorry" to whoever was laying beneath her feet. Peeking from behind the marble, she almost let out a small shriek when she realised that it was none other than Sollux himself.

Well, that wasn't that unexpected, but Vriska couldn't help but jump nonetheless.

_I saw the whole thing. I was there, standing on someone whom was once loved by their family. Watching you talk and sing to someone who was still loved. _

Sollux was talking to Aradia's headstone. No, her body. No. He was talking to Aradia herself. Like she was still alive and capable to listen. He was telling her about school, and what she'd missed, and the jokes that were made during the course of the day. He told her about the weather, and the choice of clothing she would wear, and placed a crappy drawing of her on the grave, apologizing and laughing softly at the quality of the piece.

_ I never knew you laughed. I thought you were a shell. We all did. But you weren't. Not all the way. There was some left of you, with her. While you were with her, everything went away for you, didn't it? You could tell her anything and everything. _

Sollux was now softly patting the headstone. Caressing it, more like. Vriska just stood, openmouthed, her face transforming into a mask of shock and pity.

Then he started singing.

_I heard you sing, and damn, you were good. So good that I cried, you stupid bastard. I cried. Kinda like I'm doing right now. Kinda like I did when Tavros told me he hated me. Like when my mom told me to shut up. Like when she left. Like when Aradia died. Like when you died, too._

His voice was soft, barely audible, but the wind carried it back to where Vriska could hear it clearly. It was more vocalizing than anything else, and humming, but he had talent. Wasted talent, thought Vriska as she turned away. She slid down the marble, sitting down at the base as tears stood in her eyes. She pulled her blue scarf around her, shuddering against the wind, and wiped her cold face with her mittens, trying to get rid of evidence.

Sollux was still singing.

_That was the first time I acknowledged that you looked like an angel. A broken, idiotic, depressed, but at the same time, happy angel._

Vriska closed her eyes and rested her head on her knees, still listening intently to Sollux's humming. Suddenly, she felt as though she had taken a blow to the chest. A Candle in the Wind.

_You know, that's the song I listened to repeatedly whenever something sad or bad happened to me, Captor. Candle in the Wind. You're voice makes it sound a million times sadder though. _

_ I saw you break down and cry in the middle of the song. You just sat there, never taking your hand off her headstone, with the other arm wiping away the wetness off your face. You really were pathetic to watch, Sollux Captor. Pathetically heartbreaking._

"Hey, you! Girl! Get the hell off of there!"

Vriska jerked her head up from her lap, startled. A man was walking briskly in her direction, shouting something. His flowers which he had been carrying had hit the ground, and he was fuming mad.

"Get off my wife's grave, and go find somewhere else to sleep, homeless freak!" he shouted, his eyes narrowing. Vriska jumped, clawing her way off the gravestone in attempt to get away from the lunatic. She looked back briefly, only once, just to see Sollux sitting there, no longer singing, and glaring at her.

_Up to this day, I don't know if you recognized me, since I only turned back for a second. _

_ Even if you didn't, there was something I never got to say to you, Sollux. _

_ Something I should have said when your parents kicked you out._

_ Something I should have told you when Aradia died._

_ Something that I should be repeating a million times._

_ I never did say sorry._

_ So here it is, you little dead bum. _

_ I'm sorry. _

_ With deepest regrets,_

_ Vriska Serket_


	9. ALERT!

AN:

Hello all,

I know, I know, I've been absent for FOREVER- I'm not even sure if anyone follows this fic anymore, but just in case, I'm here to say that the fic is going to be on a hiatus (woah. shocking, I know) for the next couple of weeks/maybe 3 months max because of some issues that I've been having with writing.

I'm going to begin to re-write the entire fic, making changes and whatnot and having it be more organised. However, it's not going to be posted here, it will be on Archive of Our Own, where my name is Skeptic: you can find me over here: /users/Skeptic

I'll post this fic, as well as my other one, the Science of the School, there once editing and rewriting is in progress.

I'm so so so sorry for the long wait and delay, you have no idea; I began writing Attack on Titan fanfiction, so if any of you are interested in that, you can read that in the meantime.

My apologies once more, I love you all

-Evin R.


End file.
